I hate depression

This is my fourth go-around with it, and it started with a major medication switch.  Now I’m on a combination of Latuda, clonazepam and bupropion, aka Wellbutrin.  That’s been three weeks and a couple  of days.  Waiting for the last-named to kick in fully.  It takes a month to really notice a difference.  Here’s what I can do: not a whole lot.  I go out every day, take walks, just cancelled a doctor’s appointment for next week to spare myself a trip to New Jersey that’s normally a treat for me.  That’s the key: what’s normally good, or at least no big deal, is now impossible or at least a huge deal.  Being alone makes it worse.  I can hardly read or write, and watch a lot of TV.  Maybe I should start writing more even though it’s tough right now.  Concentration is hard.  Enjoying anything is hard.  And my singing voice is gone.  No high notes a all.

I hate to sound like I’m whining, but that’s the way it is.  I want to get better but it is sooo slow!!

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About barbaraj60

I've been a librarian for three decades and change, specializing in history, genealogy and consumer-health information, education and advocacy, with a passion for music and for languages and literature, especially French. It's now July 2015 and in about two and a half months I'll be retiring from a public-service library job in social sciences, history and genealogy, by which time I'll be taking some courses (online) through the Medical Library Association to earn a second three-year renewal of my Consumer Health Information Specialist certificate; I also plan to start taking a 15-week online course through Boston University, leading to a genealogy certificate. It's not the CG but it should help me prepare for that quite well. So...my plan is to start a research and information consulting business, working with individuals and companies, especially nonprofit organizations, focusing on bringing individuals and groups to history and genealogy--and vice versa--and the same in the case of knowledge and its positive outcomes in such fields of medicine as mental health and mental illness, thyroid (and parathyroid) diseases especially thyroid cancer, lymphedema, and eye, joint and connective-tissue diseases. Why all these? Because I know them intimately and first-hand, and I am well aware of the power of knowledge to help us live as well and as long as we can, while helping others to do the same! I'd also love to go back to school and get my Ph.D....but that's another story for another day. Meanwhile, first things first: a lot of writing, a lot of one-on-one and small-group teaching, and sharing and transmitting my sense of the vital importance of information and education to any society that hopes to merit the adjective "free"!
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